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If you answer yes or if you can relate (even so much as laugh or nod your head in agreement) to any of these following situations or circumstances chance are you have a problem with Koi Addiction and should seek help immediately. However unfortunately for us the spin off 12 step programs have not yet spun far enough to include one of "Koi Anonymous" - we're on our own folks and so ... "Whatever. Let the 'suffering' continue!"

 
 

 


Bonnie,

I had to share this with you because hopefully you will find it amusing. My lotus tubers are doing quite well in water, but I decided to get them off to a better start and plant them up. I looked all over town for topsoil, but here in MN, they sell out in the fall and don't start getting it in until April. We ended up with two feet of snow here over the weekend. I went out to the south side of my house with my hip waders that I use for my pond and started digging out my south bed where there is really rich composted soil. I was only expecting to get to frozen ground, thinking the ground would then have to thaw, but I found some beautiful thawed soil right by the house. I am now letting it warm up in the house before planting. You have to be a pretty obsessive compulsive type gardener to go digging for soil in two feet of snow! I have been going crazy waiting for Spring around here.

Best regards,
Lisa MN

REPLY: Yup, I know how it is!  When we owned the retail nursery / garden center in MI we would get semi-loads of bagged dirt, manure, mulch etc. We tried to order enough to get us through until the following spring. Some years we made it until the following spring, others we did not.


*You install an underwater cam so you can watch your fish sleep in the winter or when it's raining outside.
* The first thing in the morning while going to the bathroom is I look out the window to make sure that the pond is OK, that the water has not been accidentally drained during the night. Or that a pump has not malfunctioned.
*The last thing I do at night while going to the bathroom is I look out the window to make sure that the pond is OK, that the water has not been accidentally drained during the night. Or that a pump has not malfunctioned.
*My two Rottenweillers have to entertain themselves while I teach the fish new tricks.
*You count jumping Koi to fall asleep instead of sheep.
*My biggest fear is when I die my hubby will sell my fish for what I told him I paid for them.
*You have actually spent an entire day in the water without doing a single stroke or kick.
*You drive an old beat up 1976 Chevy, but have $10,000 sitting in a hole in your backyard.
*When you recoil in horror or cringe in disbelief when you see fishing poles or when visitors ask "How do you cook them; what do they taste like?"
*When you have no problem touching and scooping out things that would make most people gag and hurl.
*When from a distance of 20 paces you notice the tinniest white spot on the back of your swift moving Koi, but then never even notice what your spouse did to their hair.
*When you accost the mailman halfway up the street before he even gets to your house, hollering: "DO YOU HAVE A MAGAZINE IN THAT BAG FOR ME?" When he says "NO".... you stare at him in disbelief...."What?, what do you mean..."NO?".
*You get up at night and turn on outside lights just to check on pond - going as far as getting the flashlight and tip-toe-ing outside in your pj's.
*When Your best friend is no longer your spouse but that special Koi you just bought.
*When your sweatshirt sleeves are soaked to the shoulder and you find yourself digging the pond -- suddenly realizing it's the dead of Winter and temperatures are registering sub-zero.
*When you tell your spouse or kids they'll have to make their own dinner because otherwise it would cut into the time to spend time with the fish.
*When you would rather push mow a 2 acre yard then buy a new riding mower so you could spend the money on your pond.
*When you shout threats and shake your fist at the neighborhood cats as if they understood you.
*When you've added up every single watt that is connected to your transformer just to see if you can put on just ONE more light.
*When you keep better track of your ponds water quality than you do your check book amounts.
*When you go out every morning to see if that new water lily that you paid way too much for has finally opened up.
*When 'he', who would gag at the thought of changing a diaper as a young father, gladly helps you clean the pond filters
*When you manage to kill three lotus in three years, and you still buy another one for this year to see if you can finally make one grow.
*When You put hyacinths in the pond in 50 degree weather cause you want some green even though you know it is too cold for them and they are going to die and you will have to buy more.
*When you eat bologna sandwiches but buy frozen shrimp for you Koi.
*When you go the the pond to relax and can't sit for more then one minute before you're up and adjusting something.
*When you leave notes for the mailman to leave the package in a particular shaded area because you know it's your lilies arriving.
*When you straight to think the pond smell on your body is sexy.
*When there is one bowl of Cheerios left in the cupboards and you decide to feed your Koi instead of your Grandchild.
*Buying more pond plants even though your pond is PACKED, and then rushing home before your hubby gets home from work to 'hide the evidence'
*Sneaking one more fish into the pond hoping he will never notice.
*You threaten your 4 year old that you will chop off both arms if he throws one more rock in the pond - and you mean it!
*You get more excited when you buy a pair of waders, than you do when you buy a new pair of shoes.
*You don't invite the neighbors over, because you are afraid their kids might mess with the pond.
*You cant wait for payday so you can go and buy more pond stuff.
*You spend more money on treats for the Koi, than you do on treats for the kids.
*When a fish is missing you get suspicious of everyone.... only to suffer embarrassment later on when you find out it was just hiding.
*When you are more worried about someone falling in might hurt your fish and plants than care about the condition of the person falling in.
*When you think the term "working in the pond" is an oxymoron.
*The only reason you go to other parts of your yard is to see how your pond looks from there.
* You put off going on vacation because you would go into WITHDRAWAL.
* If you've ever gotten a 'talking to' by the local police for borrowing rocks from places you don't own.
* "When you've never been able to tell anyone what you wanted for Christmas
before you got your pond, now you can think of a dozen different things for the pond including a special koi that you've had your eye on." (thanks Dennis, I love that one)

* "You look at hawks, owls, and herons with feelings of horror...when you used
to observe them for their unique appearances."  Thanks Randy W!  I love it!


Do you have a Koi Addiction scenario you'd like to add? Please contact me and let me know. However please note - We must reserve the right to pick and choose which submissions will be included.

 
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